Special? Really?

*Note To Reader: ♥

it's different this time around. i like what i got and i wanna keep it as long as i can. it's not like i'm focused on anyone else cause whoever i was on is a ? now. they're on their own shit. i have a feeling they'll re-appear when things get...heavy. i don't know i don't have the right words right now. then again i do, and i don't know if i could use then in such content.

whatever.

i'm happy. it's weird being happy now, cause it's like...i haven't been here before.  it's been so long since i been here. happy i mean. aha! it feels good too. basically it's like having something for a while, then you don't have it. when it comes back it's like a new feeling cause it hasn't been there for a while. hope that makes sense. i'm trying to think of a song to fit this...feeling. and i'm good at putting a song with my feelings. ill think of one. maybe "I Love U" by Chris Brown. maybe. the words fit pretty good.

anyways.

i wanna be the star that he looks at when it's night time. i hope that i give him a feeling. any good feeling. a feeling you get when you really like someone (i sound like i'm in grade 7 or something...) something undescribe-able but it makes the perfect sense. i don't know. this is a super new feeling and i really don't want it to just pop right out my life right now. but then again, i'm not going to hold to tightly on it...

that's how you lose things...