Saturday, August 29, 2009

someone new.

could something be so simple, yet so difficult to hear? something so easy to grasp but something you fear. don't you wish for everything to become clear? sometimes you wnna explain something and have to come out right, but when it comes out, the one you love come out of sight? what am i getting at? honestly i have to clue. i just wish i could tell someone new, maybe then they could become my "boo"...

but that's a little for now. ;)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

You Down?

who has me? when shit gets rough, would you flee? seems like the lists of friends keeps getting smaller as i grow older. but it's nothing cause i'm becoming more bolder. something like a soldier. i'm the future and the world is my folder. everyone else who ain't down, paint your face. the circus needs a clown. ;)

Something I Came Up With When Bordem Strikes...

Is it wrong that I want this friendship all to myself? Is it my fault you make me want to rebel? Is it our fault that we're so far gone out of this world? Is it my fault I want to be your girl? Is it wrong to tell you how much you amaze me? Is it cool to tell people everything you do phases me? (Good & bad) Is it wrong that I ask so many questions when you come to mind? I can't help myself; we got this kind of mind set to do whatever we can to make things better. You make me better. When it comes down to the certain things I want to experience with you, it's over-whelming. But time is the one that's telling. I never want this to end because this is so true. And I promise to be true to you. You’re basically my only. You’re always there when I’m lonely. I don't roll with the fake homies, they don't know me. Not like you. They do the things you'll never do. I call, you come through. You got me and I got you. That’s how I want it to stay, that's how I want it to be...I want you to forever stay with me. ♥

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Racing Mind

T&T got my thinking
so much that i'm not even blinking
getting in serious tune with my feelings
loosing feeling of my every being
visions of you ponder on my mind
and they're thoughts of "that kind"
this has me up against the wall
hoping that it's on a cliff and i watch me fall
all that i'm hoping, stuff that i'm wishing hoping that someone up there between the stars is listening
wondering if someday they'll have there mercy
on me and give me what i desire
cause all i want is someone that inspires
it's been a minute since i actually wrote something with meaning
that people won't understand because in a sense
they don't know me,
they can't see my hands enough with this sugar coated fantasy
time for everyone to jump back to reality
i feel that not everyone is being real with themselves
picking their lives off selves
you see something,
you want it
when you have it,
you flaunt it
when you try to be different
you're strange
at least you're out here making a change
i don't know
i just have a racing mind right now
thank you T&T, take a special bow.
in some cases,
it's hard to see people happy when your sad
it's tiring to see kids your age acting bad
it's easy to say you can do anything
do something not difficult to end up with nothing.

This is what you get when you have a racing mind...

you can come up with anything....?

Thursday, August 6, 2009

My Interlude - Why'd You Buy It?

She’s the only one on your mind now

I got to accept now that she’s the one that holds the crown

Man, I think what kills the most is when you want something you can’t have

You keep wondering what you can to. You take a couple stabs.

It’s something like a craving, like kids do toys

But you’re not a toy, you’re a human boy!

The days grow longer, the feelings run deep

Can never escape it, not even in sleep.

I’m more than trying to keep my mind focused on something that’s not you related

But what I focus on is so outdated.

Walking around trapped in my own thoughts.

But I guess this is what love bought

I wish love could return it.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

All She Wanted...

she was so pissed to the point she wanted to cut something and make it bleed. her dukes took everything. keys, money, teenager-hood. she wasn't living the life she wanted to. as she sat in the dark and waited for the person to come home who she hated the most she held a knife in her hand. not one of those small ones you peel apples with. those HUGE knifes you cut chicken with or something. crying over it cause she was about to do something people couldn't picture her doing. she was about to cut alright. the lock turns and the door-knob juggles. she gets up from the chair and walks to the opening door. her mother sees her in tears and doesn't even look like she gives a shit her daughter is bawling like Niagara.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" mother says. "YOU, your the one fucking wrong with me!" she was shocked she swore. she never swears when her mother is around, unless it's an accident. "I beg your pardon?" her mother replies with her hand on her hip, full of attitude. "I'm sorry, am i speaking another language? YOU HEARD ME" her mom sees the knife in her hand. "What are you doing with that?" questioned asked by mother. "oh i don't know. since the fact that you wanna live to be a old, ripe age and not have any stress in life, i decided to help you out..." Her mom looked at her as if daughter was going to kill her "All i asked of you was to just let me LIVE and i'm sad to even think about begging for that from someone who hasn't lived themselves. asking someone with no fucking life if they even have one themselves. it's funny because it's MY life and i'm asking a no life to live MINE." she laughs as if her joke was that funny. mom goes "who the hell are you talking to" "I'M SORRY I WASN'T DONE MY STORY. DON'T CUT ME OFF! AIN'T NO BODY DISRESPECTING YOU SO USE YOUR EARS AND LISTEN TO ME!" mom's face was so shocked, it looked like she seen a ghost! "Do you know what it's like to fucking wake up everyday wishing either you were dead or even adopted? sometimes wishing that your mother had an ABORTION?! i never had ANYONE lock me down like you, never had someone talk to me like you, or spend my whole life with someone and have the littlest convos with. do you know i hate you? do you know i wish sometimes you were dead instead of me? just cause i'm physically here, i'm not all here. you killed me MOTHER. I HATE CALLING YOU MOTHER CAUSE YOU DON'T FIT THE DESCRIPTION!"

mom started to cry due to hurt, bashful words coming out her daughters mouth! "don't pull that shit with me" daughter says after she sees the tears "you always playing victim like someone did something to you. you always gotta be the good one right. WELL I'M THE ONE THAT'S SUFFERING! i'm the one that has to kill all my dreams cause you always have to have you own fucking way. but trust me, IT ALL ENDS TODAY!" mother says with a river flowing off her face. "please, don't kill me" "aha, she begs for her life, why should i spare you? have you ever spared me besides pushing out your cunt? have you ever listened to anything i ever ask you? have you ever been nice to me? HAVE YOU?" mother says "i let you stay here, gave you clothes, food to eat, send you to school. phone, internet. want more do you want child?" daughter looks at her mother with more rage in her eyes and replies "ALL I EVER WANTED FROM YOU WAS FOR YOU TO TRUST ME AND BE MY FUCKING FRIEND! is that too much to ask out of you? seems so. i wanted from you to let me hang with my friends and let me be a teenager. BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THAT'S A FUCKING ISSUE." daughter couldn't control her hand any longer she raised her had as if she was getting ready to stab someone.

and she did.

she hits the floor with these last words she uttered to her screaming mother:
"hope my baby bonuses keep you warm at night, have the best life. i could never live mine, might as well take it..."

Live It Up

I Woke Up Just Now, Wpie The Crust Out My Eye.
Looking At The Clock DAMN time flew by,
it's freaking one o'clock summer just rolling threw
it's already august 1st and i haven't begun to do.
Called up the girls told them the deal
they heard my flow, they knew what was real
look at the boys, tryna cop a feel
drooling, but i'm schooling, thinking i'm serial

But imma live it up
time to sip it up
cause i don't give a f**k
i'm doing me
You seem star struck
here's a f**king buck
go by a cup
cause you drooling

OH this is what i do.
chill out till summer through
chat with new people cause we cool.
make the dudes crazy, they straight fools.
ha-ha YO!

don't twist nothing, i got my things on lock!
i don't rock a bag, keep the cash in my sock.
painted my nails bright like a rainbow
looking like a paint store exploded on my ankle
candy paint shit makes bitches do a flip.
they hate so i retaliate, TELL A CHICK TO DIP!
PARTY till five and we still ain't stopping
looking at his watching his ish poppin
dudes are rocking
looking all fly till this one guy
tried to spit game.
but his attempted was LAME.
whispered in his ear, told him to leave
the sad thing is i knew him
his name was steve.

But imma live it up
time to sip it up
cause i don't give a f**k
i'm doing me
You seem star struck
here's a f**king buck
go by a cup
cause you drooling

OH this is what i do.
chill out till summer through
chat with new people cause we cool.
make the dudes crazy, they straight fools.
ha-ha YO!