Monday, November 30, 2009
Something I have, something I respect.
Something I can’t live without, something I can never forget.
It’s like my control panel, something I’m lost without.
Without it, my everything wouldn’t count.
It expresses my last emotion, speaks my every thought.
I can do whatever I want pretty much, because this is what I taught.
I taught myself that caring for others is amazing beyond words.
But once you can’t speak for yourself, no one’s going to listen,
& you’re not going to be heard.
Finally seeing that the whole world is a lie.
They don’t care what we say, or care when the children cry.
It’s nice when the “nice” comes out sometimes.
But it’s like its illegal, some sort of crime.
People don’t want to be real, they don’t want to shine.
They want to play dumb; their mother is who they hide behind.
Scared if what the world has to say
It’s a shame that the world has to be this way.
Luckily, not in my mind state.
Secrets lie within you,
But I can’t seem to penetrate.
You’re not being honest & this is what I hate.
You agreed to keep it real right from the start.
The more you lie, the further we fell apart.
I know there’s more to say.
& I have a feeling it’s going to stay this way.
That’s how it always is, especially with us.
In my mind I’m chill, but my soul decides to make a fuss
I think I’m officially given up in this
Because the more you push away, the more I feel like shit.
It’s bad enough I’m full of confusion.
So fuck this connection and its union
Me? A side thing? Really?
It’s coming off that way.
It’s coming off that way.
You got your main bitch
But when she’s gone, there comes me.
I fade in & out
At first I couldn’t see it.
But now it’s becoming clear.
Do I want to tell you how that makes me feel?
But sometimes, I don’t know how to come out with it.
I don’t know how you might take it.
You say you can’t put up with it.
You can’t take it anymore.
Tell me this then
WTF are you doing then?
You’re tired right?
You’re not feeling it anymore no?
So why are you wasting time?
I don’t understand why…
See this is the problem with some dudes.
Why mess around with the wrong girl,
When the right one is under your nose?
Do you get a kick out of being stressed?
It feels good to get hurt?
Please tell me the deal!
I’m not going to wait around much longer…
It’s so loud in here.
Something’s going to happen, but it’s something I fear.
As my senses guide me through the noises
I pick up on some familiar things, something like voices.
Voices that I knew, voices that I know now too.
They came in all sorts of colours. Red, yellow, blue.
As I listened, a picture surfaced in the sky.
It was a picture I once knew.
It’s whatever now; you’re the one that blew.
Blew me off and killed my everything.
You were too caught up in the glamour and bling.
That was your mistake, you should have been yourself.
The real information is what you with-held.
It’s different, the only time you came out to play
Is when it involved us laying around in bed all day
And it wasn’t even that great…
Everything became silent in a split second
Finally, something I recommend,
I saw you standing there with dead flowers
It’s like you were standing there for hours.
You told me the worst was yet to come.
From your lips is where the words will spill from…
Thursday, November 26, 2009
To See The Fake World
The Fake Friends, The Fake Girls
The Fake People As They Walk
And The Fake Way They Talk
Since They Can't Handle My "Real"
They Think They Have A Right To Feel
Feel That They Can Talk This Fake Shit
Thinking That This Fake Shit Will Make Them A Big Hit
Well Let Me Ask You This
Do You Not Have Nothing Better To Do?
Do You Not Have Anything Better To Say?
Do You Feel Good In A Way?
People Like You Should Inspire Me
To Just Let Y'all Talk You’re Shit & Just Let It Be
In The End
I'm Just Going To Be Me!
Feelings Get Hurt
People Feel Like Dirt
In My Soul You Insert
These Hurtful Words...Every Fucking Day
Urgh... Fake & Waste People These Days...
Accept Who I Am
Cause I Accept Who You Are
Even Though You Need To Realize For Every Action/Word You Say
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
No more pain…
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
We were laying there, talking about God knows what.
Because the whole time our lips were moving, all I heard was our heart-beats.
We were doing something I never pictured us doing, actually bonding.
We were side by side, my feet hanging off the bed.
I had to look up in order to see the bottom of your chin.
It was cute in a way.
Finally I begin to hear our voices.
I asked you a question.
“I know this is random but, do you think that there’s someone out there made for you?”
You thought about it for a moment. Then you asked me.
“Do you think that there someone out there made for you?”
I thought about it.
“I liked to think that there’s someone out there made for me. I mean I feel that there’s someone out there. Why wouldn’t there be? I believe everyone has to find them though. Sometimes people look when it’s right under their noses too.”
You grab my hand and said.
“I don’t ever want us to stop being friends. Ever.”
I repeated the same thing.
“If I ever were to lose you in any way, I think I’d try to find you. You’re that important to me you know that right?”Then we were silent. It was beautiful. It felt like we were laying there for days.
Then I started thinking
“he knows how to pick em’ eh? I mean he has someone right now though and I feel like that’s not the right person for him. There should be the biggest form of trust. I trust him with my life. I don’t think it’s illegal to be jealous either but if you’re over jealous, especially over chicks you shouldn’t even worry about, I think there’s a serious problem…”
I looked over at you and you fell asleep.
I whispered your name a couple times but you were falling into sleep.
I whispered some more words.
“My Promises to you. If I was with you on that level that she is, I wouldn’t do a damn thing to hurt you in any way. I would love you as I do myself and care for you when ever I can. I will. I wouldn’t worry about the things you do because I know you. I know how you are. I know how you think. I know you’re not a stupid ass and I know you deserve better then what you’re getting.”
I place my hand on your chest. I wanted to feel your heart beating.
“I always wanted to find the words to express how you make me feel. But when you ask and I can’t reply, it’s cause I have some sort of mind freeze or something. You are to amazing for words. I feel I can give you what you’re entitled to have. A strong girl. A girl who knows what she wants. Confidence, Stability, Loyalty, Wisdom, A back bone. I can be all that and ten times more, if you’ll have me. I’m not worried about whatever we have now to be ruined because of what could maybe happen later. Why? Because I think we’d be just as close. We’d be the same us, doing the same things, all the time.”
Then I closed my eyes and began to hear our hearts again.
It got softer and softer.
I watched you sleep all night.
It was like I was guarding you from what the darkness was holding.
You started opening your eyes.
You asked me if I slept. I lied and said yes.
Then you said
“Who wants breakfast?”
Monday, November 16, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
with you, it's like feeling blessed!
you are something no words can describe,
thank God you're in my life.
i never had this kinda love for another.
you do something to my heart, over and under.
I'm at peace. even when i say your name.
then I begin to feel the pain...
the simple things begin to become complicated.
then my feelings go under the list "out-dated"
it's complicated what you call this thing we got.
but i got all this "new" love for you, who would have thought?
telling people i never felt this way, that's something real.
i almost there, getting grip on my steering wheel.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
No matter how hard I try to fight it, it’s a serious temptation
Why when it comes to you things seem more then correct
But on some next level shit, you mind is where I want to connect
You got this thing, you think way too much
I’m picking up the habit too, everything is in a bunch
Tapping into you is like using a spoon to dig dry glue
Difficult, but somehow I still wanna do
Dig I mean
There’s something there I wanna see
And no matter what it is, I don’t even care if it hurts me.
I’m willing to take that risk and live on some sort of edge.
I wanna see your sites and see if it makes my mind bend
That’s why I kinda feel like we have some sort of connection
You’re so complex, I wanna put my flex in
I wanna know, I wanna know, and I wanna know
But you have an issue with letting your feelings show
I guess it’s because you’ve been hurt so much
I’ve been to
I’m telling you, you don’t know half the shit I been through…
I wanna go travel, I wanna tag along
I wanna go through the right and the wrong
All with one person right now
Monday, November 2, 2009
We think Bout it, Sing Bout it, Dream Bout it & Loose sleep worrying Bout it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear loosing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define & IMPOSSIBLE to live without...
but to do those actions, seems like it takes time.
Everything seems so hard when it comes to you,
Feelings are racing and i don't know what to do...
It's a good thing i'm a forgiver
I'm forgiving myself for what i'm about to do.
I'm sorry but, i can't stop loving you...
it's something I've never felt
from a girl or guy
at night i sit up and wonder under the stars
am i really ready to get these scars?
actually there's only one person i could think of right now.
that's given me unconditional love no matter how
for those who know me, know how i feel about this man.
when i needed the most help, he gives what he can.
no matter how mad he'll get at me.
he always tells me he loves me
fills me up with knowledge
and tells me it's okay if you wanna go to college
just pass all your classes.
I'm getting the tat right across my wrists
unconditional on the left, love on the right.
so that way, when i open my arms
you can feel it so tight.
I'm following in his footsteps,
be straight up and give that type of love
i wanna be that person to give that love
to the ones who never received it.
then that will help them believe it...