Tuesday, March 30, 2010

What's Wrong Janelle?

so those who actaully give a shit.

kso i took out the braids that everybody hated, washed my hair and tryed to straighen this rough patch.
woke up this morning hoping it would look at least decent. fail. my hair looked like red sandpaper. it was rough as hell, it hurt to comb and it's not like i have fucking loot of do something with it. i actually said to myself that i look ugly. it's not like i haven't heard before. the funny thing is that people who even called me so saw be bawling today and decided to care. why now though? y'all the same people talking ish behind my back and making me out to be something i'm not...whatever. to the ones that actually care, thank you. it means the world. not only is my hair an issue on how i feel. i hate waking up every morning and going to hell for 5.15 hours. school makes me sick....literally.

my mom and i. that's another issue. i don't even know about her anymore, i could care less.

i wonder what people would be like if i was fucking dead or something. no one will actually give a hit.
they'd morun and move on.

i'm depressed.
and i know that.

- Aubrey

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Money = My Happiness

i just wanna do me, be me, have the light shine right on me.
i wanna rock kicks, hang with less chicks, kick it with my fam and just chill.
i wanna rap out loud and dance cause i'm proud and make video's for money you see...
i want money for days, sit under the sun and catch those rays. let the skin kiss me freely
i don't wanna listen to you, just let me do what i wanna do, boyfriend pants and shoes.
fitted and plaids, beanies and vests, hand bags and gold. dude. all that = my inside.
i need the green to provide
for my desire and cravings, it time to start the savings


i'm not a prissy girl, i'm into all that, but not on an everyday thing
make-up, not a cover up. soft on the eyes maybe.
i want long hair. aha buy it in the store. i wanna finally feel like me man
not like what everyone wants.

i say this all the time, kick it in some rhymes
i'm just growing tired, time is beginning to expire
money = me being happy sadly

but who isn't happy without money honestly?

- Aubrey

Friday, March 26, 2010

Blurb #11

yes it's been a while since i did one. thought i'd do one today. *smile*

lets re-cap
i got a job interview on saturday. i also have a dance audition. i don't think i'll make it in time to my job interview but i'll try my hardest to do whatever it takes to get some loot.
sunday i was on some heavy thinking and i realized that i don't think that i need this in my life anymore. so i ignored it as much as possible until me and it are no longer affiliated.
gained like 1000 pounds *happy dance*
and thinking about getting some new weave. aha!

i seriously need to do soemthing with my hair.

but on a serious note.
what do yo do when people who care are tryna show you something but you didn't wanna hear it until you realized they were right the whole damn time. feeling stupid huh?

which is why i'm sticking to my choice and changing and opening my eyes.
so far this whole changing and finding myself is going better then expected.

- Janelle

And We're Moving On

now it;s like the smoothest ride ever,
i think this move was more than very cleaver
when i had all the weight, it was so much heavier

and how it's all gone
we're moving on
you were so unhealthy for me
now my life is like sweet bliss you see
you were poison to my being
and i was the only one who wasn't seeing
seeing the damage you actually cause
you put me on some sort of pause.
ahh well you're out like last weeks trash
time to press play and make a quick dash.

life will soon be something easy.
and trust

you will never hear the sound of my voice again.
i bet i'll hear yours.

- Aubrey&Janelle

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Let's Be Real Here.

it's funny how we and human claim people and family/friends.
the ones that say they'll have you till the end
the ones that say "we'll never drift"
but are the first ones to leave you lying in a ditch.

yeah, whatever, call me some sort of bitch,
but when i see certain friends, it makes me totally sick.
no, i'm not the perfect friend either. we all our big mouth moments here and there.
but there never comes a day when a friend is in a serious situation and i'm not near
minor situations; you can definitely handle it
when i slip up in the softest shit, everyone has a fit
ready to call it this micro-small slip up.
there only reason why you do it is to cover your lump.
lump of deceiving, back-stabbing, conniving soul.
the lump is like cancer, cut it out and you're not whole.

see here. this part of you is what makes you...truly you.
and you can't see it but trust other do too.
i turn a blind eye to everything cause i let too much things slide by.
then have people say this about me and sit on the side lines. 
no one knows anyone, but some like to think so
i just wanna tell the ones that don't care, just to seriously go.
you not only breaking me, but breaking you too.

i'll just do us both a favor...buh-bye we're through

- Aubrey   

Friday, March 19, 2010

Drake - Fall For Your Type

Can I,can I,
save you from you
cuz you know theres something missing and that champagne you been sippin 
not supposed to make you different over time
it's starting too feel, like the wrong thing to do,
cuz wit all that recognition, it gets hard for you too listen
to the things that I'ma say to make you mine
but live girl, have some fun girl
we'll be fine
trying to convience myself i found one
making a mistake I never learned from

i swear I
for your type
for your type

tell me why I 
for your type
yeah O O
for your type

I just can't explain this shit at all
I just can't explain this shit at all
I just can't explain this shit at all
I just can't explain this shit at all
in believing people like you

Something Fresh

he told me i could be a rapper.
the way the pen flows off paper,
he said i could be the queen slapper.
something bigger then these rapper chicks
who on the down low take the dick.
thinking that they slick when real talks, it's rocks they kick.
actually keep my name in your mouth, gets me back to reality,
keeps me on high spirits and a crisp mentality.
where you at, under my thoughts.
let me show you something, this is what pain taught...

pain whispered. show me that one mistake and change it all
shooting hoops and getting that final fouled ball.
gambling your loot. thinking it's your time to shine
then bet it all and lose every dime
gotta go home to your wife and kids, no food to eat now
wife gets fed up and finds a way to walk out somehow
kids say they hate you, you took the fam for granted
you fell from grace, now look where you landed.

my inner thoughts ring so true sting deep
but i gotta over come it and take that big leap
there may be broken roads and false signs
but imma make it, especially with all those haters trailing behind
none of y'all know me, but would be the first to judge
then get to know me and be like "what the fudge?"

whatever cut it short, i'm something of a different sort
i different breed, a different type.
never the first to fall with all the tiny hype.


Sunday, March 14, 2010

thought's of a angry but understanding woman!

it's funny to me, there was no communication
now if i was a brat and said everything rude, maybe you wouldn't be in this obliviousness

but i wasn't brought up like that.
all i can do now beg for forgiveness,
since i never ask permission.

Saturday, March 13, 2010


i'll get there.

Friday, March 12, 2010


you = irrelevant
something that was never good for my benefit
you thought i wasn't in the loop.
trust me, i always had the first scoop.
PLAYER. oh yes you were.
you thought i didn't know, thought i couldn't concur?
not a player with other chicks though.
so i think
a player of the mind yo.
you did all this talk and had me doing things and making me fall in love
things i thought i would never do
but you know how to say your way in, let yourself through
it was shocking though, i thought you were good. amazing even
in the back of my mind i was like "damn, it should have been Steven"
i think about it over and over again & try to find the good whatever this was
but when i do, it feels like i'm on a buzz
that puff puff pass shit, just light it and blaze
just forget about you and sit in my haze
they say it's a phase,
something i use to crave
change everything, even how i behaved
but this, this is M.I.A.
and hey

i'm not mad.
everything happens for a reason and karma is a bitch
when it hits, it's like an irritating itch

nothing can satisfy it after.

- Aubrey

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Too Good To Be True

Follow the rhythm of my heart beat, it will guide you
Don’t deny yours either, it beats inside too
Whisper so sweet, touch me real deep
Spread your desire all over the room
The sheets
The pillows
My eyes follow your body
My fingertips feel your everything
We can do whatever you like, yes amazing
This is therapy, just believe
Our all is being bared here, don’t mislead
Sparks, fireworks, passion
I hope you know here is were your crashing
Every part of you will become mine for just a couple of moments
Reveal, surreal
Something we could feel
Something we can love
This is beyond and above
We’re telling a story with every move

I’m telling you. It was too good to be true.


Monday, March 8, 2010

formspring answer to irrelevant questions.

 I'm sorry, due to your nosiness &/or the graphic mature of this question, I am not obligated to answer. Feel free to ask me something relate to Janelle, Aubrey, Jaelissa. or Ms. Scott-Johnson. sorry for the inconvenience...

Heart On Chain

it dangles from my neck
cause if it lays in my chest, forever it will stay broken.
this way i could keep my eye on it and if it ever broke
i could always repair it with my hands

he left me with one thing
heart on chain
he told me that my heart will break, but he replaced it with this.
he says it's much smaller then what i had, that way i could only let only a little in.
too much it not always good.

this heart, the front it pretty.
the back? there is no back, it's a hallow pendent
why? the other half is out there somewhere
it's not with him.
he told me i'll know when the next half enters my world
sooner then i think, he smiles.

it dangles from my neck.
i take it off and stare at it.
running the chain through my fingers
letting the light shine on it
i know for a fact, this heart on chain wil become tanitned

they all end up that way.
hopefully it's good while it lasts....

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Never Wanted Something Like This

wanting to go back.
to that place in time where everything was...beautiful.
how it was all sweet, very fruitful.
i wanna go back to that moment.
we felt each other, we know it was going to be something new.
we never felt this feeling, but it's a feeling we always wanted to go through
you holding me, me holding you.

i'm a sucker for emotion
everything we had, was something like slow motion.
well that's what i think
but it seem to all change with one blink.
that's what happens when you blink
you lose everything, not even enough time to think
think about what just happened and how you can fix it.
cause it's too damn late, can't get it back bit by bit.

what you get is what you see
can't make you wanna be with me...

- Janelle

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Out There...

one minute one thing is said. next minute, the actions speak louder then anything in my head. i have no idea what's going on, i kinda feel somewhat out of place.


i wish the past came with an eraser or something.
you think i want this right now?
i haven't been getting mad cause I'M TOO FUCKING NICE
but lets be clear, it was you still.
but there's nothing more i can't do
i wanna beg, but i don't wanna lower myself like that.
even though you are kinda worth it.... don't judge me.

i'm guessing you totally off this whole situation.
again this is all vibes that i'm getting
don't ask me how, why, or when. i just am. point blank.

i guess i messed up again...

this too shall pass....

- Aubrey

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

In The End, This Is How It Will Be

since it's up to me, this is how it will be
skinny's, fresh kicks and a plain white tee
a cute heart pendant on a multi-strand chain, a fitted with my name
call it "cattie" but this is my game
a g-shock on my wrist and my hair in long little twist
mean swag, whatever
Teyana Taylor, she brings my weather.
iPod Touch, camera snappin
music straight bumpin, while the camera makes noises clappin
pictures of you, and you, and you.
yea they come out real crisp, this is what i'd do.

on all of y'all
cause it's seriously my call
i want this more then then him and her
imma do like gucci and make y'all say BURR!
there's no one in the world that wants so bad to break out and do shit she wants
gotta but up with all the bullshit and damn idiot taunts
but for sure when i go hard and slap y'all haters with my hand stacked with money
do not beg on your knees, say your sorry and call me honey
imma forget about you, you did nothing but try and break me
imma make you envy, i got big dreams, buy out the malls. SHOPPING SPREES.

never underestimate your enemy, that's what y'all did with me.
when i'm at the top, the button is where you'll be

it's where you belong actually.. (wink wink)


Under Cunstruction

someone told me recetly when you have a dream or something like that and you feel like you're falling, it means your soul is leaving your body. the falling sensation is it entering back into your body. does that mean your soul wants some sort of adventure?

i think i have trouble wondering and thinking to much. you do things like this when you only child who doesn't get to do much.

Things About Me That I Wanna Work On:

holy snap i'm shy, especially around people i don't know. sometimes i'm shy to cashiers. i tend to have this baby voice that's low. but i'm the loudest person. *laughs* trust me i will work on it. cause i love people...sometimes...

Listening Extra Harder.
don't get me wrong, i'm a great listener. just needs i tiny more work.

My Fitness.
now that i'm doing new things that i've been dying to do since FOREVER, my body needs to be prepard for what's in store. jah knows i'm not in the greatest shape. :P

Saving Tickets/Money
i figure my dukes doesn't have to know about the tickets. she'll think i'm using them all the time when i'm using them once in a while. stacking tickets my friends. same with my lunch money. more for me. :D
gotta get things in order. this is not scamming, this is thinking like a...uhmm...smart child. *smile*

knowing the time to act like an 18 year old instead of my shoe size
well you know...

i'm guess that's it right now. i'm just in "blabing my thoughts" mode.

love, it's in you to give.

- Janelle

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Sort Thought

it's funny to me, sitting here thinking about "what could have been"
i seriously on those "i kinda miss you" tip, been on my mind since.
i don't know i guess i kinda wonder what it would have been like if i didn't mess up and loft.
maybe we could have something that could have brought us even close.
you on beyond words and you were my first true love.

but all that's gone now, you on a different thing.
i've accepted it, but it is illegal to change?
i don't know, i know not.

urgh gonna sleep this off. sort this thought.

- Aubrey.

Monday, March 1, 2010


Dear Baltimore,

i haven't seen you, but i know exactly what you look like.
don't know what you sound like, but you're a familiar tune.
when i look up to the sky. i see your beautiful moon.
you were the man i once thought i knew.
your organic movements and your soft hazel eyes just kiss me with enlightenment.
lame-o chicken-head forever fightin'
they want what you have Baltimore,
they see it in your eyes, forever you will soar.
you're filled with success and achievement,
you ride in fancy cars while there heels hit pavement.
only if you could come around my way sometime soon.
i pulled a movement, i was down right rude.
i was in shock cause i lost something i know little about.
i wish i could have just one last chance, damn i wish i could shout it out.

Baltimore, any chicka would be more then blessed to have you in there life
i know seeing that, would cut deeper then a knife.

let me get familiar.

- Aubrey

P.S. i never knew what love was till you shot me.
didn't know arrows could feel so good.