Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Something Of A Different Sort

i don't think he wants to fuck up something that's well organized.
what we make
is like the golden prize.
everyone wants it,
everyone seeks it.
everyone totally believes in it.
they wanna experience it for a little bit.
dude, it's just that wonderful.
actually words can't describe how...ugh

dude, i can't write right now.
it's like i don't even know how.
like everything is in my head.
but putting it to paper is what i fucking dread.
it's like something impossible.
i never have trouble expressing myself.
it like going through hell.
when i think about this beautiful creature
he's beautiful ways, he's beautiful features.
i begin to wonder why the hell are we not TOGETHER?!
but all he wanted to do was TO GET HER!
i was right there, in plain sight.
dude i hated her so much that i was willing to put up a fight.
but I'm better then that,
& better then her.
see she's scared, but I'm ready.
I'm a chill girl who can keep it steady.
but i gotta give you time to realize that I'm nothing she is.
form what i was told she has nothing on this.
i don't act ashamed, I'm never shy around you.
I'm always here, showing you what i can do.
cause I'm something of a different short.
with her, you need to abort...


i love the fact he comes to me when he's confused and needs advice
i guess you can say it's like a difficult puzzle
when giving people the help they really need i don't need to think twice
cause usually i already know the answer like that
but with him it's different
he actually makes me think things over and makes sure it works best for him
i don't know
i guess it's his nature
i love it!

can i help the fact that i'm on this love tip with this dude? i mean i try to fight it all the damn time. i'm getting sick. it's not fair that the things i want i either gotta wait, or gotta give up on it. i hate waiting, but sometimes waiting is what hakes it all that fun. again some people might think that i'm STUPID or something but that's just me. i dare to be different. it's on my blood.

i wanna be everything he needs, everything he looks for in a girl. i don't wanna fuck him over like the rest because i tend to do things a little....different.
i'm all about doing right by people i care about most cause that's what matters in the end.

"do what's right on to others, and they would do right by you..."

Aubrey's Little Thing if the day was brought to you by "Inner Thoughts"
sometimes inner thoughts need to be released in order to have a clear mind...

P.S. i skipped 1st period for this... :)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I'm Just Doing Me...

trying to be something I'm not is a thing of the last.
tryna make this glass at least half.
but why wait till it's half when i can make it full.
+ this life & - the bull.
music is whatever now,
swag ain't all that great.
emotions are what i love to hate.
rocks the nerdy specks because I'm on my own flex.
got this mind set where i can be the best.
fuck what these people say.
being the same was never my way.
fitting in?
better to stand out!
typically quiet, but imma shout.
haven't really expressed myself in a minute.
so I'm talking the opportunity to do it.
to kill it.
to be it.
taking this time to really spit?
dude, I'm never like this.
I'm I'm liking the change.
good to take things out of my life and re-arrange....

Brown Eyes

brown eyes, looking trough. see what i see, do what i do.
it's simple to see, but hard to understand. i'm a woman, but can do what a man can.
i'm just that amazing, just that great. to these brown eyes, can you relate?
been though a lot, seen it all. throughout all those things, i will never fall.

i'm a strong, black girl is a secret society world.
trying to swim though the ocean to find that one pearl!
for now, i'll see the good of the world through my brown eyes...

got my eyes on the prize...

Friday, September 25, 2009

Mind Set #2

someone told me that poetry is a song without beats.
how can someone write a song so sweet?
if they were to sing it, would it be on key?
if someone were to feel it, would they feel free?
can this be?
someone can miraculously
come up with something so

(seriously can't finish this one, but at the same time it's finish!)


when the brown coloured leaves, the vest looking sweet, the people kick the piles, haven't walked home in a while. it feels like i neglect the good old times. time just always seems to fly by. no one gets how Autumn makes me feel. i'm going to unlock everything under this red seal.

Autumn is my time. Winter is neeeext!

Note To You...People

I'm Just Doing Me & You Could Never Understand It. Stuck In a Mind-Set Where Your Option Is Irrelevant... I Know More Things Then What You People Like To Believe. It's The Way Other People Have Me In Which Your Eyes They Deceive...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Venting 101

what's the one thing i don't understand at this point? these friends that i claim. dude, they're always telling me not to do this and not to do that but, when it comes down to a situaltion they do the same shit they're telling me no to do! Does that make sense? i know i talk about not caring what people and the world think of me cause they know nothing about me, but at the same time if a so called friend is making me seem like something i'm clearly not. that is what will piss me off the most. at the end of the day they are the ones that know me so why talk something you know nothing about? if friends have a problem with something you did or whatever, they should come to you, not the whole damn world. the world doesn't know me. A wise friend once told use to tell me the same exact thing all the time cause apparently i use to do the same damn thing all the time. but they had a strong passionate desire to do the same shit. i don't believe in karma in this case. i think it's someone who doesn't know the definition of the world "friend"

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

They Sleep On Me

they sleep on me as if I'm the softest pillow of the bunch.
they think it's easy as 12 o'clock; picking lunch.
they sleep on me cause they feel I'm not great.
they skim through my all, then begin to hate.
they wish they had this gift i hold deep
they say, you wanna be like everyone else, just repeat.
i know I'm not as sweet as the next.
but what i do, is what i consider my best.
I'm here to share to who is willing to accept.
i bleed this passion, i do it in depth.
cut me open and watch me flow,
i do it all to let the real people know.
that I'm 'bout the craft & creation,
they sleep on me cause I'm not like the norm
i do whatever i can in a different form
being the same to me isn't cool, original
they take everything, judge it so critical.
let me do me and continue to sleep on me
cause when you're about ready to wake up,
I'll be so far ahead, you might as well do something crazy
like ending up dead.

Your Inside

stare with these eyes, and to my surprise
i see something i never saw.
something truly amazingly raw.
spectacular, exhilarating, adrenaline rush.
all these feelings and never did i blush.
this all came from you.
i saw something explode from in you.
you never showed that to anyone, not even the "chosen few"
i honestly thought you was the scared type,
from the vibe i felt. you were basically nothing but hype.
but now i see what your about.
like a flower, you finally knew how to sprout! ...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

This Could Be Something...

i know it's probably nothing big at all but it kinda gave me a rush. he was holding my hand at the time. it was weird in a sense but at the same time, relaxing. i had my headphones in and everything. usually music effects my mood so Drake's "Something" came on while he was holding my hand. then we started running, that's when Drake came in singing "Falling to fast, clearly rules don't apply. can't believe that i just met you. You got me here, watching minutes pass by. wondering when to expect you..." to me this means something. hearing this while he was holding my hand, and we're running, I'm staring it him got me thinking... "why have i decided to fall for you even more now then i did before?" when i try to explain myself to others what I'm feeling it's like I'm making no sense cause I'm sooooooo like, over-whelmed. the amount of passion and desire and feelings that walk across the sand on the beach in my mind with your name really leaves me feeling...well kinda good. you leave footprints with me and it's like they never wash away. i think if they did, that would be the end of now i feel about you in that way. "There you go, is this a dream? looking like every picture that i seen of you before..."

i guess you can say I'm not confused anymore but, I'm not going to wait forever. do you think I'd find something better? well i don't know. that's what the future holds but for now, I'll travel on this journey with the feelings in my heart & the smarts of my mind. if you really think about it, that's all i really got.

- Janelle

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Kriss-Chin at his best!

Drake's Juice. did it all on keyboard!

this one now. made is own version to Drake - The Presintation!

he can sing, write and boy can he dance. triple threat out here.

Check out his youtube - http://www.youtube.com/user/KrissChinTV :)

P.S. when i get a hold of a video of him dancing, you know that i'm so posting it here.
got mad love for this dude. going to the top? BITCH he's already there. ;)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Another Day...

another day, another wonder.
my mind is a rain cloud, and you cause the thunder.
scared with an adrenaline rush exploding all around.
but where are the answers? no where to be found.
i'm tired of the hoping, wishing & the praying.
i'm tired of it all. i'm just saying.
you see what's in front your face.
you try to live it at your own pace.
you take it for what it is no matter how much it hurts.
something inside wish it could reverse.
another day, another time to deal with this mess
i call it mess because it causes stress.
as always i'm told one thing, then someone does something different.
they tell you it's okay, it's legit.
suure it is someday you'll gift me the gift.
why waste my time on something that will happen when it's too late.
another day standing by the gate?

Another day to truly fall in love....

Monday, September 14, 2009


How could you lead me all this way and then cause me so much pain...

these words and a coupe more like, lonely, sad, mad, confused, out-of-sync, old love, mistakes, mess-ups... and so on just "ring" inside my mind.

he goes on to tell me all these things "i love you" "i'd do anything for you" shit along those lines.
i'm messed cause i'm basically torn. torn between love and (the word i hate) lust.

do i truly love you or the fact of just being with you?
the same question goes out to you...
can saying "i love you" change someone's state of mind, especially if you really mean it?
cause i know when i dish that word out do different people i mean every letter of those three words. this si not something i take lightly and people do not understand that about me. there's time for laughter and jokes, then there's a time to state facts and be real. I don't wanna be misleaded into something i know my emotional state cannot handle. i've been through it enough...

i don't know, i'm just venting i guess. there's way more "ringing" in my head.

but that's a little for now...

I want to find love...

i feel exactly the same way, it's like me and him are twins.

truly love him for this!

Saturday, September 12, 2009


so i was on twitter and Jake from the singing group called Brutha twittered this amazing....(can't find a name for it)

Check it:

Ever been in the mood to just make luv? Good, quality, long, sensious, passionate, deep, breath taking, wild, jaw dropping, outlandish, bedrockin, toe curlin, screamin, hair pullin, slow jam playlist playin, finger nail scratchin, monstrous, animalistic, unbearable, life changing, hamstring cramping, moral releasing, incomparable, mentality altering, backbreaking, soakin wet, steamin hot, record breaking, climaxing....love?

again....amazing. who comes up with that? in my opinion, a person who made some good love in their lifetime.

i wanna experience that. but for now, it's virgin life. :D

P.S. not a lot of girls can't say they're virgins. i'm one of the lucky ones :D

I Can Feel Your Halo. ♥

Can Dreams Become A Reality?

as i lay my head down to sleep, the tears fall from my eyes.
i lay there and cry, time flies by.
finally i fall asleep and begin to dream
was it real? so it seemed.

she sits at the edge of the big fountain at the end of the street. she stares at this picture in this gold frame with tear drops on the glass. as she begins to wipe, someone places their hand on hers and help her wipe the tears away. "i'm here to help" the man says. she looks at him, tears still stream down her face and says "can you wipe away the pain?" he smiles at her. she closes her eyes. he begins to lean forward and kisses her on her forehead. "the pain should be gone now." before she could even open her eyes. she was at home sitting in her couch holding the picture and a teddy she received. wondering how she ended up here she begins to cry again. "these dreams feel so real, is this a sign or something?" as she whispers to herself there's a knock on the front door. she looks through the peep-hole and sees nobody. as she's about to turn away she hears another knock. she opens the door. standing before her was the same man in her dream.

he greets her with these words:

"As I lay you down
let Heaven hear your cry now
After giving love your all
your lost without a cause....so you think you are
the ones that is far apart will soon join in peace & love

she reaches out to touch him. then he disappears. she looks at the picture that still clenched in her hand and sees that is has changed. not the picture it once used to be. the picture she once knew was of her first true love and her holding hands while the sun kisses their skin. the picture that she sees before her is of a beautiful girl standing with purple and pink roses. the girl is in a wedding dress. a man in a black suit stands at the end if the isle waiting for her. they're both smiling.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

My Mind State #1

i never did this sort of thing before, like vent everything in one place on my mind you know? i'm at a state where i just feel like in order to get where i wanna be and do what i need to is by getting this thing called "money". if you ask me, you really can't do anything without having dough. in order to get food, you need money to buy. if you need clothes, you need money to buy. you wanna live on your own, you need money to buy a place. money in my eyes makes this fucked up world go 'round and i'm starting to get real sick of it. why do we really need money? i mean i know why but really, why? i'm so fed up in not having money. these places put up "help wanted" signs, then when you go and apply THEY DON'T FUCKING CALL. they act like they need people, then don't call people back. *confused face* sigh

i'm so fucking pissed when i should be happy and enjoying the new school year. but i'm sitting here cheesed cause my mother won't give me cell phone back either. i mean you have a teenager and you have the crapest plan known to man? LIKE COME ON! 600 minutes for one month it's never free after a certian time? tell me if that's a smart ass plan?


on top of all this, i got this issue. i have a friend who i'm falling for as each day goes by. i can't stop myself from this "falling" thing. i honestly can't help myself. he just has this vibe that i'm diggin. i never felt it off any other dude but, at the same time i'm trying to play it cool. seems to be going super. the complicated part is that he's "caught up" and i'm not. he tells me all these things, it's like he's filling my head with stories of this "we could be" or "i wanna be" blah shit. then reality hits. when he sees me getting "comfortable", he states that he "all caught up"

tell me, you're there going on and on about what he could be getting hopes up over-here in Aubrey's World, then comes crashing down when you state you're all tied down. EXCUSE ME HONEY?! i'm not the one who takes being played with easy. ask all the other ex's i'm the type to go all crazy and shit. not like "im gon kill you" crazy, just like a emotional wreak, and i let me be known to EVERYONE around me. getting hurt is not something i can deal with. it's like i'm about to overdose on this thing called L O V E...

My Mind State at this time was brought to you by the world today. clearly is sucks!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

love this dude. ♥

She Thinks Friendship

she's always done now a days
sits in a gaze while the suns a blaze.
she has so much on her mind
does so much to pass off wasted time.
she ponders by the tele
waiting for these friends to call her celly.
she cries those bitter-sweet tears.
washes away that pain with cold-hard beers
no one knows about this life but them
the ones she goes to when she's major blem
she spills out the deepest parts of her soul
in hopes that the truth can make her whole.
she runs her finger tips across those blood-shot chapped lips.
she's really focused. so into it
by it i mean thought. the pain that they brought
friends? she doesn't know the meaning.
but then again it's true friendship she's seeking.

i think she needs to start believing...
in the good of these friends.
a few have her till the end
at least that's what they say.
she settles with their word anyway...

see that's what a true friend does.
sticks by the one's just because
because she feels without them life in incomplete
no one wants to be a loner on these streets....

Note To Self

I was looking in the mirror, trying to find, a new reflection.
Wanna take the road, less travelled in, a different
Make some new mistakes,
forget the ones I made.
Cry some tears of joy,
dress more like a boy.

And come back as a blonde, try a different lipstick on, as a blonde,
will I get whatever I want?
I’d be ever so incisive, take a lot of icecream, never have to watch my weight.
Ya when I’m gone, I’m gonna come back as a blonde.

Wanna I meet myself, as
someone else, just to see what it feels like.
Take a walk, on the other side, cause you know that I just might.
Break some different hearts,
touch my different parts.
I’m not gonna wait, to mess around with fate.

And come back as a blonde, try a different lipstick on, as a blonde,
will I get whatever I want?
I’d be ever so incisive, take a lot of icecream, never have to watch my weight.
Ya when I’m gone, I’m gonna come back as a ...

I’m tainted, I’m tired, of being the same ya.
I’m desperate, I’m bored, I’m begging for change.
What if you’re normal and wanna be strange?
Come back, come back, come back.
Come back, come back, come back.

As a blonde, try a different lipstick on, as a blonde,
will I get whatever I want?
I’d be ever so incisive, take a lot of icecream, never have to watch my weight.
Ya when I’m gone, I’m gonna come back as a blonde.
Wave my magic wand, as a blonde, will I get whatever I want?
I’d be ever so incisive, take a lot of icecream, never need to watch my weight.
Ya when I’m gone, I’m gonna

As a blonde.