i want to be the best i can be, but how can i be the best i can if i don't have my own parents behind me at all times. dad who? never had that dude. i think that's why i act out. i never had that kind of attention. now i want that, seems like mom can be the only one to so that. but she's to busy being mad at me, mad about the past, and mad at what i'm becoming. a woman. she cannot handle it cause she doesn't want me to make the same mistakes like she did. picking up the worst man, working at the shittest job ever. and not having a life. coming home everyday and just going to your room. even closing the door now to drown out the world. but she can't. ever had someone tell you don't blame yourself for grown ups stress or whatever mess they're in? well i can honestly say that i'm the reason why you're so depressed and stressed and all this shit. i'm lazy, i'm rude, i'm not everything you hoped for me to be because i'm always looking around at what others have and what they provide for their families. i have all this anger build up because we don't have it easy like other people. someone once told me that things come for those who wait..how long we'll we both have to wait for things to get better, for you let me free and for me to actually see you happy.
that's all i really want, and i swear to you from now on i will try my HARDEST.
that's something i can honestly say i can do.
cause i love you.