Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bonding

I had this “vision” I guess you can call it.
We were laying there, talking about God knows what.
Because the whole time our lips were moving, all I heard was our heart-beats.
We were doing something I never pictured us doing, actually bonding.
We were side by side, my feet hanging off the bed.
I had to look up in order to see the bottom of your chin.
It was cute in a way.
Finally I begin to hear our voices.
I asked you a question.

“I know this is random but, do you think that there’s someone out there made for you?”
You thought about it for a moment. Then you asked me.
“Do you think that there someone out there made for you?”
I thought about it.
I said
“I liked to think that there’s someone out there made for me. I mean I feel that there’s someone out there. Why wouldn’t there be? I believe everyone has to find them though. Sometimes people look when it’s right under their noses too.”
You grab my hand and said.
“I don’t ever want us to stop being friends. Ever.”
I repeated the same thing.
I said
“If I ever were to lose you in any way, I think I’d try to find you. You’re that important to me you know that right?”Then we were silent. It was beautiful. It felt like we were laying there for days.

Then I started thinking
“he knows how to pick em’ eh? I mean he has someone right now though and I feel like that’s not the right person for him. There should be the biggest form of trust. I trust him with my life. I don’t think it’s illegal to be jealous either but if you’re over jealous, especially over chicks you shouldn’t even worry about, I think there’s a serious problem…”

I looked over at you and you fell asleep.
I whispered your name a couple times but you were falling into sleep.
I whispered some more words.
“My Promises to you. If I was with you on that level that she is, I wouldn’t do a damn thing to hurt you in any way. I would love you as I do myself and care for you when ever I can. I will. I wouldn’t worry about the things you do because I know you. I know how you are. I know how you think. I know you’re not a stupid ass and I know you deserve better then what you’re getting.”
I place my hand on your chest. I wanted to feel your heart beating.
“I always wanted to find the words to express how you make me feel. But when you ask and I can’t reply, it’s cause I have some sort of mind freeze or something. You are to amazing for words. I feel I can give you what you’re entitled to have. A strong girl. A girl who knows what she wants. Confidence, Stability, Loyalty, Wisdom, A back bone. I can be all that and ten times more, if you’ll have me. I’m not worried about whatever we have now to be ruined because of what could maybe happen later. Why? Because I think we’d be just as close. We’d be the same us, doing the same things, all the time.”
Then I closed my eyes and began to hear our hearts again.
It got softer and softer.

I watched you sleep all night.
It was like I was guarding you from what the darkness was holding.
You started opening your eyes.
You asked me if I slept. I lied and said yes.

Then you said
“Who wants breakfast?”

I smiled.

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