If I Were To Meet You Right Now...

i would stare you right in your eyes and ask you. "reasons?"
then i would wait for you to answer. no matter the outcome of that question...i would cry. thinking of all the things that went down, i would find it overwhelming. i would scream at you whatever came yo mind. i would beat your chest, slap your face, cry and scream. in helplessly fall into your arms. weakness struck me. standing was an obstacle. you were well aware of what was going down then and now. i can'r describe this feeling cause it actually hurts. yeah, some people say it hurts but nothing like how i'm actually hurting.


if i were to even see you right now. i think i would just cry. (i've given up in general) no more i'm sorrys and forgiveness. i'm to tired o could be laid to rest. i thought i was making a good choice when i was going to just lock off whatever. but then i'll be stuck wondering "what if" & "why".

this is a regular thing, hence why i freaked out like i did. also thinking about the information i received makes it even more painful...you don't get it, and i don't understand how chill you think it really is. so is there really solving to this situation? i don't know, and i do really care. at the same time i'm sick of breaking down.

i need a hole...

- Janelle