Tuesday, September 8, 2009

My Mind State #1

i never did this sort of thing before, like vent everything in one place on my mind you know? i'm at a state where i just feel like in order to get where i wanna be and do what i need to is by getting this thing called "money". if you ask me, you really can't do anything without having dough. in order to get food, you need money to buy. if you need clothes, you need money to buy. you wanna live on your own, you need money to buy a place. money in my eyes makes this fucked up world go 'round and i'm starting to get real sick of it. why do we really need money? i mean i know why but really, why? i'm so fed up in not having money. these places put up "help wanted" signs, then when you go and apply THEY DON'T FUCKING CALL. they act like they need people, then don't call people back. *confused face* sigh

i'm so fucking pissed when i should be happy and enjoying the new school year. but i'm sitting here cheesed cause my mother won't give me cell phone back either. i mean you have a teenager and you have the crapest plan known to man? LIKE COME ON! 600 minutes for one month it's never free after a certian time? tell me if that's a smart ass plan?


on top of all this, i got this issue. i have a friend who i'm falling for as each day goes by. i can't stop myself from this "falling" thing. i honestly can't help myself. he just has this vibe that i'm diggin. i never felt it off any other dude but, at the same time i'm trying to play it cool. seems to be going super. the complicated part is that he's "caught up" and i'm not. he tells me all these things, it's like he's filling my head with stories of this "we could be" or "i wanna be" blah shit. then reality hits. when he sees me getting "comfortable", he states that he "all caught up"

tell me, you're there going on and on about what he could be getting hopes up over-here in Aubrey's World, then comes crashing down when you state you're all tied down. EXCUSE ME HONEY?! i'm not the one who takes being played with easy. ask all the other ex's i'm the type to go all crazy and shit. not like "im gon kill you" crazy, just like a emotional wreak, and i let me be known to EVERYONE around me. getting hurt is not something i can deal with. it's like i'm about to overdose on this thing called L O V E...

My Mind State at this time was brought to you by the world today. clearly is sucks!

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