Heart On Chain

it dangles from my neck
cause if it lays in my chest, forever it will stay broken.
this way i could keep my eye on it and if it ever broke
i could always repair it with my hands


he left me with one thing
heart on chain
he told me that my heart will break, but he replaced it with this.
he says it's much smaller then what i had, that way i could only let only a little in.
too much it not always good.


this heart, the front it pretty.
the back? there is no back, it's a hallow pendent
why? the other half is out there somewhere
it's not with him.
he told me i'll know when the next half enters my world
sooner then i think, he smiles.


it dangles from my neck.
i take it off and stare at it.
running the chain through my fingers
letting the light shine on it
i know for a fact, this heart on chain wil become tanitned


they all end up that way.
hopefully it's good while it lasts....

Never Wanted Something Like This

wanting to go back.
to that place in time where everything was...beautiful.
how it was all sweet, very fruitful.
i wanna go back to that moment.
we felt each other, we know it was going to be something new.
we never felt this feeling, but it's a feeling we always wanted to go through
you holding me, me holding you.

i'm a sucker for emotion
everything we had, was something like slow motion.
well that's what i think
but it seem to all change with one blink.
that's what happens when you blink
you lose everything, not even enough time to think
think about what just happened and how you can fix it.
cause it's too damn late, can't get it back bit by bit.



what you get is what you see
can't make you wanna be with me...


- Janelle

Out There...

one minute one thing is said. next minute, the actions speak louder then anything in my head. i have no idea what's going on, i kinda feel somewhat out of place.

shit.

i wish the past came with an eraser or something.
you think i want this right now?
i haven't been getting mad cause I'M TOO FUCKING NICE
but lets be clear, it was you still.
but there's nothing more i can't do
i wanna beg, but i don't wanna lower myself like that.
even though you are kinda worth it.... don't judge me.

i'm guessing you totally off this whole situation.
again this is all vibes that i'm getting
don't ask me how, why, or when. i just am. point blank.

siiigh.
i guess i messed up again...


this too shall pass....


- Aubrey

In The End, This Is How It Will Be

since it's up to me, this is how it will be
skinny's, fresh kicks and a plain white tee
a cute heart pendant on a multi-strand chain, a fitted with my name
call it "cattie" but this is my game
a g-shock on my wrist and my hair in long little twist
mean swag, whatever
Teyana Taylor, she brings my weather.
iPod Touch, camera snappin
music straight bumpin, while the camera makes noises clappin
pictures of you, and you, and you.
yea they come out real crisp, this is what i'd do.


STUNT.
on all of y'all
MAKE IT
cause it's seriously my call
i want this more then then him and her
imma do like gucci and make y'all say BURR!
there's no one in the world that wants so bad to break out and do shit she wants
gotta but up with all the bullshit and damn idiot taunts
but for sure when i go hard and slap y'all haters with my hand stacked with money
do not beg on your knees, say your sorry and call me honey
imma forget about you, you did nothing but try and break me
imma make you envy, i got big dreams, buy out the malls. SHOPPING SPREES.


never underestimate your enemy, that's what y'all did with me.
when i'm at the top, the button is where you'll be


it's where you belong actually.. (wink wink)


-Aubrey

Under Cunstruction

someone told me recetly when you have a dream or something like that and you feel like you're falling, it means your soul is leaving your body. the falling sensation is it entering back into your body. does that mean your soul wants some sort of adventure?

i think i have trouble wondering and thinking to much. you do things like this when you only child who doesn't get to do much.

Things About Me That I Wanna Work On:

SHYNESS
holy snap i'm shy, especially around people i don't know. sometimes i'm shy to cashiers. i tend to have this baby voice that's low. but i'm the loudest person. *laughs* trust me i will work on it. cause i love people...sometimes...

Listening Extra Harder.
don't get me wrong, i'm a great listener. just needs i tiny more work.

My Fitness.
now that i'm doing new things that i've been dying to do since FOREVER, my body needs to be prepard for what's in store. jah knows i'm not in the greatest shape. :P

Saving Tickets/Money
i figure my dukes doesn't have to know about the tickets. she'll think i'm using them all the time when i'm using them once in a while. stacking tickets my friends. same with my lunch money. more for me. :D
gotta get things in order. this is not scamming, this is thinking like a...uhmm...smart child. *smile*

knowing the time to act like an 18 year old instead of my shoe size
well you know...

i'm guess that's it right now. i'm just in "blabing my thoughts" mode.

love, it's in you to give.



- Janelle

Sort Thought

it's funny to me, sitting here thinking about "what could have been"
i seriously on those "i kinda miss you" tip, been on my mind since.
i don't know i guess i kinda wonder what it would have been like if i didn't mess up and loft.
maybe we could have something that could have brought us even close.
you on beyond words and you were my first true love.

but all that's gone now, you on a different thing.
i've accepted it, but it is illegal to change?
i don't know, i know not.

urgh gonna sleep this off. sort this thought.

- Aubrey.

Baltimore

Dear Baltimore,


i haven't seen you, but i know exactly what you look like.
don't know what you sound like, but you're a familiar tune.
when i look up to the sky. i see your beautiful moon.
you were the man i once thought i knew.
your organic movements and your soft hazel eyes just kiss me with enlightenment.
lame-o chicken-head forever fightin'
they want what you have Baltimore,
they see it in your eyes, forever you will soar.
you're filled with success and achievement,
you ride in fancy cars while there heels hit pavement.
only if you could come around my way sometime soon.
i pulled a movement, i was down right rude.
i was in shock cause i lost something i know little about.
i wish i could have just one last chance, damn i wish i could shout it out.

Baltimore, any chicka would be more then blessed to have you in there life
i know seeing that, would cut deeper then a knife.

let me get familiar.

- Aubrey

P.S. i never knew what love was till you shot me.
didn't know arrows could feel so good.