What's Wrong Janelle?

so those who actaully give a shit.

kso i took out the braids that everybody hated, washed my hair and tryed to straighen this rough patch.
woke up this morning hoping it would look at least decent. fail. my hair looked like red sandpaper. it was rough as hell, it hurt to comb and it's not like i have fucking loot of do something with it. i actually said to myself that i look ugly. it's not like i haven't heard before. the funny thing is that people who even called me so saw be bawling today and decided to care. why now though? y'all the same people talking ish behind my back and making me out to be something i'm not...whatever. to the ones that actually care, thank you. it means the world. not only is my hair an issue on how i feel. i hate waking up every morning and going to hell for 5.15 hours. school makes me sick....literally.

my mom and i. that's another issue. i don't even know about her anymore, i could care less.

i wonder what people would be like if i was fucking dead or something. no one will actually give a hit.
they'd morun and move on.

i'm depressed.
and i know that.

- Aubrey

Money = My Happiness

i just wanna do me, be me, have the light shine right on me.
i wanna rock kicks, hang with less chicks, kick it with my fam and just chill.
i wanna rap out loud and dance cause i'm proud and make video's for money you see...
i want money for days, sit under the sun and catch those rays. let the skin kiss me freely
i don't wanna listen to you, just let me do what i wanna do, boyfriend pants and shoes.
fitted and plaids, beanies and vests, hand bags and gold. dude. all that = my inside.
i need the green to provide
for my desire and cravings, it time to start the savings
but no ONE UNDERSTANDS MAAAAN.


I'M
NOT
WHO
YOU
WANT
ME
TO
BE...


i'm not a prissy girl, i'm into all that, but not on an everyday thing
make-up, not a cover up. soft on the eyes maybe.
i want long hair. aha buy it in the store. i wanna finally feel like me man
not like what everyone wants.


i say this all the time, kick it in some rhymes
i'm just growing tired, time is beginning to expire
money = me being happy sadly


but who isn't happy without money honestly?


- Aubrey

Blurb #11

yes it's been a while since i did one. thought i'd do one today. *smile*

lets re-cap
i got a job interview on saturday. i also have a dance audition. i don't think i'll make it in time to my job interview but i'll try my hardest to do whatever it takes to get some loot.
sunday i was on some heavy thinking and i realized that i don't think that i need this in my life anymore. so i ignored it as much as possible until me and it are no longer affiliated.
gained like 1000 pounds *happy dance*
and thinking about getting some new weave. aha!

i seriously need to do soemthing with my hair.

but on a serious note.
what do yo do when people who care are tryna show you something but you didn't wanna hear it until you realized they were right the whole damn time. feeling stupid huh?

which is why i'm sticking to my choice and changing and opening my eyes.
so far this whole changing and finding myself is going better then expected.

- Janelle

And We're Moving On

now it;s like the smoothest ride ever,
i think this move was more than very cleaver
when i had all the weight, it was so much heavier

and how it's all gone
we're moving on
you were so unhealthy for me
now my life is like sweet bliss you see
you were poison to my being
and i was the only one who wasn't seeing
seeing the damage you actually cause
you put me on some sort of pause.
ahh well you're out like last weeks trash
time to press play and make a quick dash.

life will soon be something easy.
and trust

you will never hear the sound of my voice again.
i bet i'll hear yours.

- Aubrey&Janelle

Let's Be Real Here.

it's funny how we and human claim people and family/friends.
the ones that say they'll have you till the end
the ones that say "we'll never drift"
but are the first ones to leave you lying in a ditch.
yeah, whatever, call me some sort of bitch,
but when i see certain friends, it makes me totally sick.
no, i'm not the perfect friend either. we all our big mouth moments here and there.
but there never comes a day when a friend is in a serious situation and i'm not near
minor situations; you can definitely handle it
when i slip up in the softest shit, everyone has a fit
ready to call it this micro-small slip up.
there only reason why you do it is to cover your lump.
lump of deceiving, back-stabbing, conniving soul.
the lump is like cancer, cut it out and you're not whole.


see here. this part of you is what makes you...truly you.
and you can't see it but trust other do too.
i turn a blind eye to everything cause i let too much things slide by.
then have people say this about me and sit on the side lines. 
no one knows anyone, but some like to think so
i just wanna tell the ones that don't care, just to seriously go.
you not only breaking me, but breaking you too.


i'll just do us both a favor...buh-bye we're through


- Aubrey   

Drake - Fall For Your Type

Can I,can I,
save you from you
cuz you know theres something missing and that champagne you been sippin 
not supposed to make you different over time
it's starting too feel, like the wrong thing to do,
yeah
cuz wit all that recognition, it gets hard for you too listen
to the things that I'ma say to make you mine
but live girl, have some fun girl
we'll be fine
trying to convience myself i found one
making a mistake I never learned from


i swear I
al-ways
fall
for your type
yeah
for your type

tell me why I 
al-ways
fall
for your type
yeah O O
for your type

I just can't explain this shit at all
I just can't explain this shit at all
I just can't explain this shit at all
I just can't explain this shit at all
in believing people like you

Something Fresh

he told me i could be a rapper.
the way the pen flows off paper,
he said i could be the queen slapper.
something bigger then these rapper chicks
who on the down low take the dick.
thinking that they slick when real talks, it's rocks they kick.
actually keep my name in your mouth, gets me back to reality,
keeps me on high spirits and a crisp mentality.
where you at, under my thoughts.
let me show you something, this is what pain taught...


pain whispered. show me that one mistake and change it all
shooting hoops and getting that final fouled ball.
gambling your loot. thinking it's your time to shine
then bet it all and lose every dime
gotta go home to your wife and kids, no food to eat now
wife gets fed up and finds a way to walk out somehow
kids say they hate you, you took the fam for granted
you fell from grace, now look where you landed.


my inner thoughts ring so true sting deep
but i gotta over come it and take that big leap
there may be broken roads and false signs
but imma make it, especially with all those haters trailing behind
none of y'all know me, but would be the first to judge
then get to know me and be like "what the fudge?"



whatever cut it short, i'm something of a different sort
i different breed, a different type.
never the first to fall with all the tiny hype.






-Aubrey