i just can't deal anymore.
i wanna sleep, i wanna eat. i wanna be able to cope. i wanna function like i used to. i seriously want to forget you.
i don't wanna be friends, heck i don't even want to talk to you now. you are what i like to call SELFISH.
yeeep. and i'm using it in direct CONTEXT. at least i know how to use words and not throw them around. well i wouldn't know how you use words. heck i probably don't even know the real you. that's one thing i can't deal with. your scared for what? to let me in? you think keeping up these walls is going to make you a better person? it's just hiding your true self from the world. but that's OKAAY! because i'm at my brim now. i'm fed up. i'm tired. you drained me. used me up until there was nothing else. funny how i knew this was gonna happen. i saw it. but i let it play out cause i wanted to see if it would change. i guess not. i just put myself up for more hurt and pain from someone who said they were going to protect me from it... so much for that.
all i asked was realness and honesty. guess it was too hard to come by. that's all you asked of me. i gave it to you. on a fucking silver platter too. you were on me so much for not being completely honest with you. and now look. then you wonder why i give so much attitude and have anger towards you. it's because you're just...not seeing the big picture. why am i even bothering to vent? real bitches stick around. that's how you know they're hearts big enough for two. i'm finding it extremely hard to forgive you this time. all the other times is because...well i don't know because. i just did so there was no bad blood.
the thing that really burns the most is that now if you were to even spill out shit like you did before. i might not even take in what you said let alone believe you. sucks cause you basically lost my trust. i never thought i'd live to see this day... sad, sad, sad.